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Waiting, the hardest part of this

It has been a month since I went to do the lab testing for the donation. While it should be easy for me to wait, it is not.

I realize that every decision that I make right now impacts the ability for me to be able to donate.

Part of me wonders if I am still compatible. Part of me knows that I still am.

From what I eat to how much I sleep. Everything that I do I try to measure to a point of how does this impact my health and my ability to still donate.

I stepped down from some ministries to relieve some stress. Then work started to pile up. It feels like a never ending cycle of insanity sometimes, I wonder if it's worth doing. Then I look back on how far God has taken me and know that he wants me to do his purpose and not my own but to also willingly participate for what he has planned in my path.

There are times that I want to throw in the towel and move back to Watsonville and go back to being a couch potato. Then I realize how much I could have been doing during those times that I spent endless hours watching VH1 and MTV.

The most challenging part has been taking each day and each moment for what they are. I struggle within myself to just go to bed and let it go. This is one of those cases, where I constantly need to learn to shut down my brain and given into just accepting the day as it is.

Just a few more weeks and I will know if I am still able to do this bone marrow donation...


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